Hebrews 13:6

The verse to remember for this week is-

That is why we can say with confidence "The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?"

Hebrews 13:6

When we were in China with Sarah I never verbalized this but I thought how different if felt to bring an older child out of her country. She could speak chinese beautifully, she seemed to love her culture and her homeland. To her we were odd looking, we talked funny and what on earth could we offer her to make her want to leave her home? I felt for a moment like I was abducting her. I really felt like I needed to completely trust and rely on God because to me it didn't feel quite right. Don't get me wrong- I knew she was our daughter, I knew I was meant to be her Mama. I was excited and up for the challenge that laid ahead of us BUT I still felt like- is this really okay? Is this what is best for her? Am I being selfish and seeking my own desires? 

I have learned more and more about the children that are left in the orphanage- about their future and what happens to most of them. It is not a pretty picture, it is not a happy life- they so deserve better than that. They are God's beautiful children and they so deserve a Mommy and a Daddy- a home, a family, love, education, food, clothing, warmth and hope for their future! We didn't do this to get a better spot in heaven or because we think we are wonderful - We adopt because we love children, we love parenting and we feel this is where God is guiding us. 

Today our sweet little daughter has been home 7 weeks! I have known my daughter for almost 9 weeks. She is a perfect match for our family, a decision made by our dear Lord! Sarah is doing so well but doing so well is relative. She runs into knew frustrations each day- whether it is language related, feelings related, situation related- who knows? Today I asked her during one of her whining spells that turned into a crying spell- "Are you sad?", "Yes, Sarah sad." "Why" I asked- "What are you sad about?" and then we didn't have the words to continue our conversation- so we hugged. Sarah does so well at home- home is safe, familiar and comfortable. Today we went to playgroup. She is not confident enough in her english to talk to other children, she played but I am not sure IF she played WITH others. There was another 8 yr old girl in the group and she was too shy to talk to her or acknowledge her- I hope with more time this will get better. At one point I had to say to her as one of the little girls was trying to hold her hand " how much the younger children LOVE her just like she loves Katie. They want to play with you" I said. She did better going downstairs with the kids but I think she just needs more time to get comfortable with these new experiences.

Everyday I need to trust the Lord. He is my comforter and my refuge- their is nothing to be afraid of - so each day we forge ahead! It is such a journey- I am grateful to God that he allowed this to happen. I am amazed with this little girl and all she has been through. Everyday has it's challenges! I feel like I am always trying to evaluate the situation. At times Sarah acts 2 yr old - like Anna and at times she acts 8 yrs old. Sometimes she needs comfort, other times she is crying out for attention and then there is times that she is fiercely independent and competent. We try so hard to do what is right for her, for us and for our family. All in all, I think things are going very well. It would be nice if there was a play by play manual for this journey but I guess all kids are different. I want to give her the love and comfort she needs and yet help her to grow and be all that she can be. We also need to create an environment that we all can live in- where Mom and Dad have a moment to breath and the older kids have a little space too. Sarah understands here needs but she does not always understand others needs. We need to teach boundaries- which can be challenging. She would love to tear through the mail but then bills get lost- so we have to set limits on that- we actually have to do a lot of teaching on boundaries, limits, manors, appropriate behavior. She has come a long way and we look forward to the journey continuing! I am really looking forward to the next level of communication/talking!

This is a picture of the 2 girls and their Momma during a whining spell that turned into a crying spell. I had to be quite creative to reach the camera and take the pic! I look a little silly but I thought - hey- this is my life... and I love it!

Thank you to Jesus- the ultimate comforter and protector! There is nothing to be afraid of!